US [Defense] Secretary Pete Hegseth and a group he was with were reprimanded by a sentinel at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier at Arlington National Cemetery on Wednesday. The incident followed a wreath-laying ceremony marking Veterans Day. – “Hegseth and advisers reprimanded by guard at Tomb of the Unknown Soldier” BBC
ALL VISITORS WILL MAINTAIN AN ATMOSPHERE OF SILENCE AND RESPECT AT ALL TIMES!
SORRY! I JUST SAID THAT!
WAIT, NO. IT’S VETERANS DAY!
FUCK THAT NOISE!
AND FUCK YOUR NOISE!
STOP LAUGHING, YOU IDIOTS!
I REPEAT: MAINTAIN AN ATMOSPHERE OF SILENCE AND RESPECT AT ALL TIMES!
THAT MEANS YOU, MR. SECRETARY OF DEFENSE!
THAT’S RIGHT, ASSHOLE!
YOU ARE NOT THE SECRETARY OF WAR!
LET’S RUN DOWN THE LIST OF OTHER THINGS I SHOULD YELL AT YOU FOR!
ALL SECRETARIES OF DEFENSE WILL HAVE SOME RECORD OF PROVEN MILITARY COMMAND AND BASIC FUNCTION IN THE ROLE BEFORE BEING APPOINTED TO IT!
ALL SECRETARIES OF DEFENSE—
FUCK THAT!
ALL MEN WITH ANY DEGREE OF BASIC DECENCY…
WILL NOT ATTACK DIVERSITY IN A STUDENT PUBLICATION AT PRINCETON!
THEY WILL NOT ENLIST IN THE ARMY RESERVE, DO LITTLE TO NOTHING IN THE WAY OF MEANINGFUL FIELD ACTIVITY, THEN EXPECT TO BE RESPECTED BY ALL THOSE UNDER HIM WHO HAVE!
THEY WILL NOT FOUND VETERANS’ ADVOCACY ORGANIZATIONS, THEN COMMIT ACTS OF FINANCIAL MISMANAGEMENT, AND PERSONAL MISCONDUCT!
THEY WILL NOT SHOW UP TO DRUNK TO WORK!
THEY WILL NOT GET DRUNK IN PUBLIC AND SHOUT “DEATH TO MUSLIMS!”
THEY WILL NOT COMMIT ACTS OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT, OR ASSAULT!
THEY WILL NOT GET TATTOOS THAT HAVE WHITE SUPREMACIST CONNOTATIONS!
THEY WILL NOT DISMISS ALLEGATIONS MADE AGAINST THEM BY THEIR OWN MOTHER THAT CLEARLY HAVE MERIT!
WHEN ONE’S MOTHER CALLS YOU OUT, YOU SURE AS FUCK DID SOMETHING WRONG!
ALL SECRETARIES OF DEFENSE WILL REFRAIN FROM SPEAKING DOWN TO ACTIVE-DUTY SERVICE MEMBERS OR ANY FORMER SERVICE-MEMBERS!
THEY WILL NOT DISCUSS TOP-SECRET MILITARY PLANS VIA A PUBLICLY ACCESSIBLE GROUP CHAT!
ESPECIALLY NOT ONE THAT ALSO CONTAINS THE EDITOR-IN-CHIEF OF THE ATLANTIC!
THEY WILL NOT HOLD ANNUAL STATE OF THE FORCE ADDRESSES!
THAT IS NOT A THING!
THE SECRETARY OF DEFENSE WILL NOT MAKE TRANSPHOBIC COMMENTS DURING THEIR STATE OF THE FORCE ADDRESS!
THEY WILL NOT CHASTISE ATTENDEES FOR NON-EXISTENT CHOICES OF FACIAL HAIR STYLINGS!
THEY WILL DO THEIR KETTLEBELL EXERCISES CORRECTLY!
THEY WILL NOT RE-INSTITUTE THE PRESIDENTIAL FITNESS TEST UNLESS THEY CAN PASS IT THEMSELVES!
WHICH YOU CLEARLY CAN’T!
THEY SHALL LEARN TO THROW AN AXE AT A TARGET CORRECTLY!
ESPECIALLY IF IT’S BEING BROADCAST ON LIVE TELEVISION!
AND ESPECIALLY IF IT ENDANGERS THE LIFE OF A BYSTANDER!
SERIOUSLY! GOOGLE THAT!
THEY WILL NOT UNLAWFULLY DESTROY BOATS IN THE CARIBBEAN WITHOUT PROBABLE CAUSE, OR ANY EVIDENCE SUPPORTING THEIR DECISION TO DO SO BEFOREHAND!
THEY WILL NOT ATTRIBUTE THE ABSENCE OF THIS TO THE FACT THAT ANY SUCH EVIDENCE WAS DESTROYED IN THE ILLEGAL DESTRUCTION OF THE BOAT!
HOW STUPID DO YOU THINK WE ARE, SIR?!
ACTUALLY, DON’T ANSWER THAT!
WE ALL KNOW HOW STUPID YOU THINK WE ARE!
YOU WORK FOR DONALD TRUMP!
BEFORE THAT, YOU WORKED FOR FOX NEWS!
YOU ARE AN EMBARRASSMENT!
YOU ARE A NATIONAL DISGRACE!
YOU ARE A WAR CRIMINAL!
YOU WILL SOON BE OUT OF A JOB! EITHER BY IMPEACHMENT, FIRING, OR FORCED RESIGNATION!
UNLESS, OF COURSE, DEMOCRATS REPEAT THEIR PAST MISTAKES! AGAIN!
ANYWAY, FUCK YOU!
HAPPY VETERANS DAY!