“Your Favorite Remaining Freedom 250 Performer and What it Says About You as a Fascist Enabler”
1. Vanilla Ice – You are a fascist enabler. Your taste level veers towards kitsch, but to an extreme (see what we did there?) that calls your common sense and morality into question. You think private donations will fill the void left behind by the defunding of NPR/PBS and Planned Parenthood. You are, after all, a fascist enabler. You have no problem listening to one song on repeat for the better part of four decades.
2. Lee Greenwood – You are a fascist enabler. You fail to recognize-or choose to ignore-the not-in-the-slightest-bit-fine line between patriotism and jingoism. You also fail to recognize-or choose to ignore-the not-in-the-slightest-bit-fine line between populism and fascism. You are, after all, a fascist enabler. “You know you’re free,” but you fail to realize that “the men who died who gave that right to [you]” were four minimally armed Capitol Police officers. You have no problem listening to one song on repeat for the better part of five decades.
3. Donald Trump – You are a fascist enabler. You voted for him three times thinking he’d be good for the economy despite stating that you disagree with him on everything else. The collapse of the economy doesn’t affect you. Your business has large stakes in cryptocurrency and A.I. You are a fan of MMA. And Vanilla Ice. And Lee Greenwood. You’ve forgotten what unconscious bias is since you only attended one D.E.I. meeting remotely in 2020. You read The Art of the Deal while pursuing your M.B.A. at Wharton for shits and giggles, not realizing it would influence you more profoundly than you care to acknowledge. You are, after all, an idiot suffering from unconscious bias who also happens to be a fascist enabler. You have no problem listening to an orange garbage bag full of yogurt conduct public therapy sessions for the better part of six decades. Have we mentioned you’re a fascist enabler?
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