“Other ‘Islamic Republics’ Drawing Trump’s Ire”
"We have an aircraft carrier which is one of the most beautiful in the world, it's one of the biggest, the (USS) Abraham Lincoln," Trump said. "And a few months ago, we had, I told this story yesterday, we had 111 missiles shot by the Islamic Republic of Japan." – “Pittock, Drew, July 8th, 2026, “Trump says ‘Islamic Republic of Japan’ fired missiles at U.S. Ship” - USA Today
Iran – An actual Islamic Republic that has the temerity to defend itself against a global superpower in a war of choice on the part of its enemy.
Palestine – Continues to be the victim of human rights atrocities in a war enabled by aid from the U.S. in the form of military support and far-right nationalist sympathies.
The Strait of Hormuz – A body of water with the audacity to be one of the world’s most frequently used shipping routes.
The Global Supply Chain – Had the nerve to get backed up as a result of the war in Iran, and that Islamic Republic’s subsequent takeover of the Strait of Hormuz.
Domestic Affordability – A made-up word weaponized by the dumocrats to place their thumbs on the scale of the 2026 midterm elections.
International Affordability – A made-up phenomenon stemming from a made-up word by the dumocrats that is somehow having an effect on consumers worldwide.
Denmark - Won’t make a gift of the sovereign country of Greenland.
The U.S. Men’s World Cup Team – Wouldn’t win their game against Belgium despite his indirect interference with the issuing of a red card against their top scorer.
Haitian Immigrants in Springfield, Ohio – Their consumption of dogs and cats continues unabated in the absence of any media coverage, political action, or evidence of existence.
The Word “Dumb” – A lot of people don’t know “dumb” has a “b!”
E. Jean Carroll – Courageously spoke out against the once and future president, accusing him of rape, for which he was found criminally liable. Still entitled to five million of his dollars following repeated delays and petitions.
Taylor Swift – Widely beloved and recently married musician who has remained “hot” despite his claims to the contrary. Self-made billionaire who achieved this status in the absence of any monetary support from her father equaling at least 413 million dollars.
The Mainstream Media – Seemingly not bending to his will despite ample evidence to the contrary.
Sesame Street – Promoting woke ideology to children under the banner of the far-left liberal propaganda network, PBS.
Ms. Rachel – Promoting woke ideology to children under the far-left liberal banner of being a woman.
Bluey – Promoting woke ideology to children and their pets under the far-left liberal banner of being a show that real-life dogs legitimately like to watch.
Diet Coke – The cans are getting harder to open.
Taco Bell – Not sitting as well as it once did.
The Depends Adult Diaper – See above.
Communists – Upstart candidates winning elections and gaining public support despite being self-described “democratic socialists” with no communist affiliations.
Zohran Momdani, Bernie Sanders, Ilhan Omar, Ayanna Pressley, Rashida Tlaib, and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez – See above.
Japan – See the news item below the title of this article.
The White House Ballroom – Won’t get built.
The Kennedy Center – Won’t bear his name.
Truth Social – Won’t turn a profit.
Private Business Dealings While Holding Public Office – Won’t turn enough of a profit. 2.2 billion dollars in just over a year is insufficient.
Presidential Historians – Pointing out the lack of precedent for the transparent corruption and kleptocratic practices of his administration.
The American People – Rapidly turning against him, taking it to the polls, and the streets. Getting gunned down by I.C.E. Officers while sitting in their cars in no violation of the law. Recording evidence of this on their smartphones and demanding bad actors be held accountable.
The 2020 Presidential Election – Stolen!
The U.S. Constitution – Won’t get suspended. Stymies agenda.
Democracy – See above.
The United States of America – Not becoming a fascist, theocratic, kleptocratic, autocratic Christian Republic quickly enough.