“Blue Wave?” “Blue Tsunami?” We can do better than that!
***
The Beginning of the End. In a Good Way.
A Sobering Moment for Teetotaler Donald Trump
Sad Man in a Glorified Blast Crater Day
The Day Donald Wept on the Toilet
Fina-fucking-lly!
The Democratic Demolition Derby
An Overdue Reckoning
The End of the Façade
Twice in a Century Tuesday
Wait, Republicans Don’t Give a Shit About Us Wednesday!
Wait, Trump Still Has the Veto Wednesday…
Fuck It, He Still Lost Wednesday
The Great Awakening
The Feeling of That First Cup of Coffee in the Morning, But Rendered in the Form of Election Results Day
The Boost We All Needed
The Swift Kick in the Ass We All Needed
The Swift Knee in the Balls to Everyone Who Enabled This Finally Got
The Moment Where Just Over Half the Nation Kneed Themselves in the Balls
American Comeback
American Freedom
American Justice
American Retribution
The Day the Arc of History Started to Bend the Right Way Day
Mitch McConnell Spinning in His Grave, The Election
Lindsey Graham Would Have Lost Too Day
Holy Shit! Mississippi is in Contention?! Day
The Day People Went to Their Doctors Feeling Crushing Hope
The Day People Switched to “Depressants” to Stabilize Their Moods
Civil Rights to the Rescue Day
A Belated Thank You to Susan B. Anthony Day
A Long Overdue Apology from White People Day
The Day We Embraced Change Candidates
The Day We Found the Happy Medium Between the Old Guard and the New
The Day People Finally Fucking Voted!
The Day People Finally Fucking Woke Up!
The Day We Cared About Something That Mattered!
The Day We Did This, But Then Pivoted Back to Talking About You Can See Everything Again
The Day I Decided That Was Totally Fair
The Day I Recommended Seeing an Unsettling Three-Hour-Long Documentary as a Reward to Ourselves for the Results of the Midterms
The Day of Creative Memes
A Repudiation of Unrestrained Dark Money in Politics
A Repudiation of Tech Oligarchs
A Repudiation of Elon Musk
A Repudiation of Mark Zuckerberg
A Repudiation of Peter Thiel
A Repudiation of Stephen Miller
The End of a Two-Year Bout of Constipation Day
The Shared Relief of Emptying One’s Bowels After a Decade Day
Doomscrolling Temporarily Replaced by Hopescrolling Day
The Moment Trump Finally Shut the Fuck Up for a Few Hours, Then Went Right Back to Talking About the Ballroom
Let’s Keep the Momentum Going Day
We Don’t Need Another World War to Resolve This Horrendous Chapter in Our History Day
We Don’t Need a Cold War, Either Day
Or a Vietnam War Day
Wait, We Might Have That Pretty Soon in Iran Day
Fuck That Noise, Let’s End the War in Iran Day
Let’s Start by Impeaching Pete Hegseth Day
From There, Let’s Work Our Way Up Through the Rest of the Cabinet Day
Let’s Spare Trump a Third Impeachment and Let Him Watch as His Movement Goes Down in Flames in 2028, Sound Like a Plan? Day
The Thing We Should Have Done in 2024 Day
And 2022
And 2020
And 2018
And 2016
And 2015
Hell, in 1776!
Democracy in Action, Bitch! Day
The Downfall of Donald Day
A Better Day