“Some Other Suggestions for A.I. Rebranding from President Trump”

“President Trump said Tuesday he is directing ‘all United States documents’ to refer to AI as ‘super intelligence.’…[Trump said] ‘From this point forward, all of United States documents and hopefully the world's will be changed to use the much more accurate term ‘super’ as opposed to artificial. So, it's super intelligence." – Walker, Josephine, September 22nd, 2026, “Trump orders AI rebrand as ‘super intelligence’” Axios

 

Trump Intelligence

 

High I.Q. Intelligence

 

Very Stable Genius Intelligence

 

Supreme Intelligence [1]

 

Amazing Intelligence

 

Super Intelligence

 

Superior Intelligence [2]

 

Handsome Intelligence

 

History of Adultery and Sexual Misconduct Intelligence

 

Greatest President in American History Intelligence

 

Can’t Get a Ballroom Built, So I’ll Settle for Naming a Potential Extinction-Level Threat After Myself Intelligence

 

Extreme Intelligence [3]

 

Does Not in Any Way Resemble an Orange Garbage Bag Full of Yogurt Intelligence

 

Or an Upside-Down Piece of Candy Corn in a Wig Intelligence

 

Fire and Fury Intelligence

 

Least Intimidating Comic Book Supervillain Intelligence

 

Openly Compares Self Favorably to Hitler Intelligence

 

And Mao Zedong

 

And Josef Stalin

 

And Attila the Hun

 

Doesn’t Care That These Comparisons Originated in a Paper Written by Golfer Gary Players’ Caddy, and Not an Actual Historian, Intelligence [4]

 

Information Bubble Intelligence

 

Positive Feedback Loop Intelligence

 

Willful Ignorance Intelligence

 

Very High Insecurity Intelligence

 

Give Me Another Cognitive Test So I Can Feel Better About Myself Intelligence

 

Triumphal Arch Intelligence

 

“Trumphal” Intelligence

 

I Don’t Care About the Consequences of Any of This Because I Will Be Dead/Physically and Mentally Incapacitated in Less Than Five Years Intelligence

 

I Don’t Care About the Consequences for My Children, or Their Children, Either Intelligence

 

Another Thing Built in My Image That Will Be Torn Down as Soon as We Have a Democrat in the White House Intelligence

 

Branding That Will Be Swiftly Disavowed by My Supporters as Soon as I am No Longer in Power Intelligence

 

A Cult of Personality That Will Inevitably Die Along with the Person in Possession of the Personality Intelligence

 

Depends Adult Undergarments Intelligence (Corporate Sponsorship!)  

 

My Pillow Intelligence (See above)

 

Can We Name A.I. After Lindsay Graham in Case the World Does Go Boom as a Result of A.I. Intelligence?

 

My Cognitive Decline Intelligence

 

My Physical Decline Intelligence

 

My Secret Use of a Bedpan Intelligence

 

Conducting Foreign Policy with Pete Hegseth Via a Risk Game Board Positioned Near My Hospital Bed Intelligence

 

Indulging in My Comparison to Napoleon by Wearing a Bicorne Hat and Placing My Pathetically Undersized Hands in My Hospital Gown Intelligence

 

Melania Left Me for a Twenty-Five-Year-Old Fuckboy Intelligence

 

“Natalie, Turn Me!” Intelligence

 

“Go to Sleep, Mr. President” Intelligence

 

“Yes, Yes, You’re the Greatest President in American History” Intelligence

 

Overhearing “Holy Shit, is This Old Bastard Ever Going to Croak?” While the Staff Thinks I’m Asleep Intelligence

 

I Want a Big Mac for My Last Meal Intelligence

 

How am I Still Alive? Intelligence

 

Maintain a Tough Façade While Resembling Jabba the Hutt More and More Each Day Intelligence

 

Oh, Shit, I’m Going to Live Long Enough to See My Entire Legacy Torn Down, Literally and Figuratively, Intelligence

 

Die on a Gold Toilet from a Rage-Induced Heart Attack in the Middle of My Last Truth Social Post Intelligence

 

Occupy the Mouth of Satan in the Centermost Circle of Hell Intelligence, Right Alongside Judas Iscariot, Brutus, Cassius, Roy Cohn, and Mitch McConnell

 

Still Marvel at My Inclusion Among Other Historical Figures Intelligence

No Regrets Intelligence

 

Hey, I’ve Still Got a Wi-Fi Signal Down Here Intelligence  

 

And a Smartphone with Access to Truth Social Intelligence!

[1] This was an actual suggestion in a poll President Trump circulated on Truth Social.

[2] And this.

[3] This too.

[4] “New book reveals how Trump compared himself to Mao, Stalin, Attila the Hun”

Next
Next

“Is There Anything We Can Do to Get You to Contribute?! Aside From Stopping These Texts?”