“They May Be a Radical Socialist!”
The menace of radical socialism is on the rise. But how is the everyday American to recognize a radical socialist, and what should they do if they suspect they are in the presence of one?
In recognizing a radical socialist, physical appearance counts for nothing, despite the prevalence of racial profiling and Islamophobia. But if one declares themselves to be a radical socialist, we take their word for it.
If they read and espouse the values in a radical socialist-oriented media outlet such as The New York Times, The Washington Post, CNN, or PBS and NPR, they may be a radical socialist.
If they support an organization that orients itself with the values of radical socialism, or has been declared a radical socialist organization by the Department of Homeland Security, the Department of Justice, or President Donald Trump, they may be a radical socialist.
If a person defends the activities and policies of a radical socialist nation (i.e. Canada, Mexico, France, or any other nation on the receiving end of President Trump’s tariffs) while consistently attacking the foreign and domestic policies of the United States, they may be a radical socialist.
If a person does all these things over a period of time, they must be a radical socialist!
But there are other radical socialists who don’t show their real faces. Ones who work more “silently.” These include, but are not limited to, organizations like…
The Democratic Socialists of America!
The American Civil Liberties Union!
The Southern Poverty Law Center!
The Boy Scouts of America!
UNICEF!
Your local PTA!
But often, radical socialist ideas circulate in the form of print media. Aside from the aforementioned Fake News outlets, keep an eye and an ear out for publications from entities like…
McSweeney’s!
MAD Magazine!
The Flak!
Listen for the proliferation and spreading of ideas associated with radical socialism. These include…
Universal healthcare!
Action to combat the climate crisis!
Voting rights!
Support for free speech, free assembly, and freedom of the press!
Opposition to the suspension of the Constitution “until we find out what the hell is going on!”
The acknowledgement of systemic racism!
Police reform!
Opposition to the indiscriminate murder of U.S. citizens engaged in non-violent protest!
Opposition to the war in Iran!
Support for Ukraine in their ongoing war with Russia!
Support for Palestine!
Opposition to the policies of Israel in their ongoing war with Palestine, and the U.S.’s unquestioning support of the state of Israel!
An opposition to A.I. technology, and the threat it poses to the environment, the arts, and innumerable professions!
Criticism of President Trump!
Criticism of White House Deputy Chief of Staff for Policy, Stephen Miller!
Criticism of Elon Musk!
Criticism of Mark Zuckerberg!
Criticism of Jeff Bezos!
Espousing the belief that no one needs to have one trillion dollars to their name!
Reading a book in a public place! (NOTE: Exceptions can be made if they are reading The Art of the Deal, Hillbilly Elegy, or State of Fear by Michael Crichton.)
These are but a few of the things to watch for, and be aware of in our ongoing battle against the scourge of radical socialism. Know the signs, trust no one, and amass firearms in preparation for the imminent civil war.
We respectfully ask that you not use your legally purchased weapons to illegally kill others. (NOTE: Exceptions can be made if your actions raise the possibility of commonsense firearm control legislation.)
This has been a public service announcement from the Department of Homeland Security.