“We Are Honored to Stand By The Man Who Indirectly Tried to Assassinate Us!” - A Joint Statement from Prominent Republicans in Support of Donald Trump
“If goading a mob of bloodthirsty fuckwits into an act of murderous insurrection isn’t an example of leadership at its finest, what is?”
Let’s Celebrate the Achievements of Martin Luther King Jr., Even as I Work to Fundamentally Destroy Them – A Statement from Your Company CEO
“Enjoy those adorable civil rights of yours while they last!”
“Okay. What Do You Want Me to Do About It?” – A Highly Influential Corporate Executive With Ties to The Business Community and Federal Government
“My limited power as head of this Fortune 100 conglomerate only allows me to do so much.”
“Take Us to Your Leader, and Someone Who Can Help Us Score Tickets to the Eras Tour!”
The Aliens Have Landed, and They Are Devout Swifties
“My Utter Lack of Pride Probably Explains Everything!” – Proud Boys Member
“Joining this group essentially requires an outright dismissal of dignity and self-respect.”
QUIZ: Who Declared it “Mine,” My Pembroke Welsh Corgi or Former President Donald Trump?
The answer could be both!
Summer Barbecue Tips from the Supreme Court of the United States
“This deranged barbecue committee has declared itself the authority on all barbecues…?”